Have you ever noticed how you feel during your child’s tantrum? Maybe you start having hot flashes or your heart beats really fast. You feel anger boiling inside you.
All those are normal reactions to your child’s tantrum.
But we have two choices from where to go from there….
We can either let our feelings escalate which usually results in our yelling at our kid, getting into power struggles, or labeling our kids with phrases like “Why are you always so bad?”
We can choose to remain calm during tantrums and curb our stressed out feelings. Easier said than done, right?
Keeping calm during tantrums isn’t always easy, but it is the right choice to make for ourselves and our kids. Here’s why…
Why Do We Want to Remain Calm?
Considering your child isn’t in any danger, focus on yourself first during a tantrum.
Imagine you’re flying in an airplane and you hit some turbulence and the plane starts rumbling and bumping up and down. You might feel a little scared and anxious, so you look around to see the reactions of the flight attendants and wait to see what the pilot has to say.
Now, imagine if the flight attendants and pilots started freaking out. Your anxiety would most likely escalate and cause you to freak out too. But if the pilot and flight attendants were poised and calm, you would start to relax too.
Kids are the same way during turbulent times. Kids mirror the reactions of the person in charge.
If you are calm, they will start to be calm too.
If you are upset, they will be too, and your children will realize that they have more power when they see their parents aren’t calm. And that is unsettling to them. An upset, enraged parent can signal to your child that his emotions are too much for my parents.